Ndamukong Suh, The NFL, and The Miami Dolphins

Ndamukong Suh was born on January 6, 1987, stands 6 feet 4 inches in height, and weighs 310 pounds.  He was drafted by the Detroit Lions in the 2010 draft.  Now he is a player for the Miami Dolphins.

Mr. Suh signed a six year deal with the Dolphins worth more than $ 114 Million.  As a longstanding fan of the Dolphins, I believe that he could help the Dolphins reach the playoffs in 2015.

I have often wondered how this athlete can display such strength against opposing linemen as he powers his way toward the opposing quarterback.  I believe that he can help the Dolphins achieve greatness in 2015.

I was shocked when I received an intercept from Jason Aborigine, the founder of Waterleaks.  Mr. Aborigine often intercepts NSA transmissions by using a series of RC circuits that increase the impedance and magnify the resonant frequency of a microburst signal through multiple stepdown transformers which boost a multiphasic shift by 600 Picofarads through multiple polarized capacitors !

Using this advanced design, Mr. Aborigine intercepted a National Security Agency signal that proved to be a conversation between Dr. Hiroshi Adachi and Dr. Wilhelm Von Goring.  Both Dr. Adachi and Dr. Von Goring are senior residents at the Kaiser Wilhelm Institute in Berlin, Germany.

Genetic engineering is the direct manipulation of an organisms genome using biotechnology.  The scientific community throughout the world has banned the modification of the human genome.

However, NSA intercept NSA-276084-FRV-02 definitely proves that Dr. Adachi and Dr. Von Goring did indeed modify the DNA of a human egg cell by substituting the DNA from a lowland Gorilla species found in West Africa.  Gorilla DNA is similar to human DNA.

Also, the doctors then fertilized the egg cell with human sperm.  The modified zygote was then transplanted into a woman on March 11, 1986.  The transplanted zygote grew normally.  A normal birth took place on January 6, 1987.  The newborn was named Ndamukong Suh.

Ndamukong Suh is the first genetically modified human to play football for the NFL ! Drs. Adachi and Von Goring have stated privately that they will perform this remarkable feat for a sum of $ 2 Million each.  The doctors are quick to point out that their fee is quite reasonable when the salary of Mr. Suh at $ 114 Million is considered.

Sanityandsense.com has learned that five other professional teams are seeking to draft genetically modified humans like Ndamukong Suh.

R. Van Conoley  ( Editor’s Note: Jonathan Swift assisted in the research needed to publish this important article. )

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