Donald Trump, President Xi Jinping, and Stormy Daniels

The following conversation was recorded by the U.S. National Security Agency (NSA). It was intercepted on May 18, 2018, at 8:02 p.m. Chinese time.  The conversation is between Chinese President Xi Jinping and the Director of Chinese State Security, Chen Wenqing. Comments by the President of China are preceded by “Xi” and comments by Chen Wenqing are preceded by “Chen” .  The recording is labeled: NSA//246//05-18-18//Xi 07284 and is labeled top secret.  It was leaked to on May 26, 2018, by unknown sources.

Xi: Enter.

Chen: Good evening excellency. I would like to show you a picture.

Xi: I can not believe that you are using my valuable time just to show me a picture of a nude Western Barbarian woman !

Chen: Excellency, that Western Barbarian woman is a porn star named Stormy Daniels. In the past she has been reported to be the lover of President Trump.

Xi: She certainly has an attractive figure that is so common to Western Barbarian women.  Looking at this picture, I believe that it would take a disciplined and powerful Yang to tame her experienced Yin.

Chen: That was the belief of our State Security analysts. May I respectfully suggest that you look closely at her golden gully.

Xi: It never ceases to amaze me that some Western Barbarian women have golden colored pubics.  How unnatural ! I suggest that her code name should be ” Golden Pubics.”

Chen: That is an wonderful suggestion excellency.

Xi: But why should it be of concern to us who President Trump pillowed with?

Chen: Excellency, this Stormy Daniels has an attorney who claims that this woman needs to tell a story about her pillowing with President Trump.

Xi: That is strange even for Western Barbarians.  I see your note that she is 38 years of age. Don’t many Western Barbarian men seek a yin of a younger woman to rejuvenate them ? That is what a civilized Chinese man would do.

Chen: That is true excellency. Our agency recently recorded a conversation between banker Tang Lo-wong of Hong Kong and his nephew who is his executive assistant. Banker Tang is one of the richest men in all of China.  Here is a section of the recording.

Recording of Banker Tang: ” Ayeeyah nephew ! There is no aphrodisiac in the universe like youth. NONE my nephew. The yang needs the yin juices, but young juices, to extend a man’s life and nourish his yang. Always remember that the older your male stalk becomes the more it needs youth and change and young enthusiasm to perform adequately. But also remember that the Beautiful Box that nests between a young woman’s thighs is also an ambush, and can become your coffin if not used wisely. Therefore, I have acquired a 20 year old Western Barbarian woman to become my second concubine. At age 83, I must use this gift to myself wisely.”

Xi: Certainly Banker Tang is correct. Is there anything else Chen ?

Chen: No excellency. I and several analysts are about to view a film of this Barbarian, Stormy Daniels, as she displays her skills I a pornographic film that would be banned in China and not fit to be viewed by our civilized citizens.

Xi: Wait. In order to better understand the Western Barbarians, I will view the film with you.

R. Van Conoley


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