Ilhan Omar’s and Jeff Epstein’s Sex Videos

Just when Americans thought that the fake news media in the United States could not get any worse, the fake and sleazy news media proved them wrong once again.

A “grocery store tabloid” known as ” The Universal Planet ” broke a story about Representative Ilhan Omar.  Beth Mynett, 55, submitted divorce papers in a Washington, D.C. Superior Court on Tuesday, August 27, 2019.  Beth Mynett stated that her husband, Tim Mynett, was having a sexual relationship with Representative Ilhan Omar and she wanted a divorce.

The “Universal Planet” learned that Ilhan Omar and Tim Mynett had recorded several of their sexual sessions on a CD.  The Planet obtained a copy of the sex video by paying Omar’s alleged Uncle $ 500,000.00

The Planet plans to sell limited copies of this video titled: ” The Squirting Fountain- Starring Ilhan Omar. ” But wait, there is much more.  The Planet will include a sex video of former Governor Bill Richardson having sexual intercourse with porn star Betty Bottoms.  The Richardson sex video was filmed at Jeff Epstein’s sex island resort.

The Planet is offering both of these videos as a package deal for only $ 300. Supplies are limited and available only to individuals over the age of 21.

Also, the Planet stated that they had obtained 807 sexually explicit videos purchased from two top level FBI administrators.  The two FBI administrators made copies of the sex videos obtained when the FBI recently entered Jeff Epstein’s residences and confiscated 1,236 sex videos.

The Planet plans to sell copies of the confiscated FBI sex videos to readers who have their yearly subscription price of $200.00 current in their accounts.  The Planet was able to obtain these 807 videos from the FBI administrators for $ 800,000.00  But that is not all ! The Planet plans to publish the exclusive stories from these two FBI agents as soon as the agents are relocated in Switzerland.  The Planet has obtained information from reliable sources that these two FBI agents had been “tipped off ” that they will soon be indicted by a federal grand jury on sixteen criminal counts of actions that were designed to harm President Donald Trump and his family and his business associates.

The two FBI administrators plan to continue selling drugs to American citizens by coordinating their narcotics operations from Zurich in conjunction with the international drug cartels.

The Planet guarantees that these videos are good enough to die for.

R. Van Conoley

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